I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize