Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
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I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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