WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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