Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
