you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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