having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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