Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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