We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
COCAINE IS GR8
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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