What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You took a bar mat shot.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize