if i died would you start the facebook group?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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