Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
