i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
