grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
