Where did you get a picture of my penis
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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