I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
handjob tips. give me some.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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