so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
