I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how drunk are you?
Several
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize