you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
