I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
