It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
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I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
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You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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