Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
