idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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