I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
