Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
