Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I could make wine with my vomit
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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