he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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