who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
