hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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