I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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