girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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