I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
