Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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