she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
