So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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