once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
