I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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