Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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