my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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