your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
