I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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