i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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