you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
