i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
