Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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