More tranny stories later!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
