and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize