oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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