btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
