I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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