I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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