I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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