So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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