The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
