as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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