gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I supernannyed him into submission
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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