he was CRYING into my vagina
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
