you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
my being single is dangerous.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
