Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
