Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
