Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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