so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
