He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Holy shit dude........stairs
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
