these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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