Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
