: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
