I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
