Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
